Thursday, 23 October 2008

Lame Jokes Round 2!!

Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth?
A. Ruthless.


Q. What do they call pastors in Germany ?

A. German Shepherds.


Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?

A. Noah - He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.


Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?

A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord.


Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?

A. Samson. He brought the house down.


Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in in Eden ?

A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.


Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?

A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.

--

A young boy had just earned his driving permit.
He asked his father, who was a minister, if he could use his car.
His father said,

"I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your Bible and get your hair cut, and we'll talk about it."

A month later, the boy again asked about it.

His father said,

"Son, I'm very proud of you. Your grades have improved and you've studied the Bible. My only problem is that you haven't cut your hair.'

The boy wanted to keep his long hair, so he replied,

"I've been thinking about that....Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair. Noah had long hair, and even JESUS had long hair"

"Yes," replied the father,

"and they WALKED everywhere they went."
__________________________________________________________

WHAT NATIONALITY WAS JESUS?

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS JEWISH
He went into his father's business
He lived at home until he was 33
He was sure his Mother was a virgin, and his Mother was sure he was God

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS IRISH
He never got married
He was always telling stories
He loved green pastures

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS PUERTO RICAN
His first name was Jesus
He was bilingual
He was always being harassed by the authorities

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS ITALIAN
He talked with his hands
He had wine with every meal
He worked in the building trades

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS BLACK
He called everybody "brother"
He liked Gospel
He couldn't get a fair trial

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS A CALIFORNIAN
He never cut his hair
He walked around barefoot
He started a new religion

THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS A WOMAN
He had to feed a crowd, at a moments notice, when there was no food
He kept trying to get the message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it
Even dead, he had to get up because there was more work for him to do.


Whee!!!! =) =)

4 comments:

*~NASTASHA~* said...

Let me laugh first! =D
AHAHAHAAHAHAHA!!!

~nick~ said...

whee!!! =)

D@rkCrusader said...

Funny leh.

Junereth said...

i lol'd at "he was always harassed by the authorities"